The NFL has its first $30 million man, and he's never made a tackle. He can't catch, and he certainly will never make the cover of Madden.
All of which makes a lot of people wonder why Roger Goodell makes that ridiculous amount.
Short answer: He's worth it.
New Orleans Saints fans would doubtless disagree after the way Goodell handled Bountygate. And a lot of players probably drove their Bentleys off the road when they heard the news on Friday.
The NFL filed its tax return that day, and the SportsBusiness Journal reported Goodell's 2011 compensation was $29.49 million. That's $11.49 million more than Tom Brady pulled down that year, and he had 39 more touchdown passes than the commissioner.
Brady had no immediate comment, but you can bet at least 61 percent of the players were not pleased. That's the percentage that disapproves of Goodell's job performance, according to a recent USA Today survey.
When news broke last year that Goodell would double his salary, Atlanta Falcons receiver Roddy White threw a Twitter fit.
"How in the hell can u pay man this much money, that cant run tackle or catch," he wrote.
Hey, neither can the Jacksonville Jaguars. White apparently never took Principles of Microeconomics in college. The people running the show always get the big bucks, though there are legitimate gripes against Goodell.
He over-reached in Bountygate. The referee lockout turned a couple games into complete farces. Players also hate the league's safety crackdown, though that's really an example of Goodell's worth.
With all those concussion-related lawsuits, the NFL faces billions of dollars in damages. Goodell wasn't in charge when all those heads were being rocked.
He is the one who has to change the game's culture. First, to prevent the next generation of players from going prematurely senile. But also to ensure the NFL's financial health.
That's the main job of any CEO. By that standard, Goodell's pay falls in line with the rest of the Fortune 500 crowd.
He would have been the 28th-highest-paid CEO in America last year, according to Forbes. You want crazy money? Goodell made $348 million less in 2011 than Apple CEO Tim Cook.
Until last year, he even made less than Bud Selig. Selig's MLB salary is estimated at $22 million. David Stern is reportedly paid about $23 million by the NBA. Labor revolts cost their leagues games and revenue. Goodell avoided that and football's money gusher has never been interrupted.
The NFL made $6.16 billion in 2005, the final year of Paul Tagliabue's reign. It made $9.5 billion last year.
A true measure of a CEO is how much revenue was actual profit. That's hard to say since NFL teams are privately held. The Green Bay Packers are the only publicly owned franchise and must reveal its financials. In 2011, the Packers' total revenue was $302 million. Of that, $42.7 million was pure profit.
? Offseason report: Packers | Cowboys | Bears | Giants | Jets | Patriots
Based on that, it's safe to assume Jerry Jones is printing $100,000 bills in his Cowboys Stadium skybox.
So what if Goodell makes 15 times the players' average salary? It would have taken the salaries of 6,526 typical Apple employees to equal Cook's pay in 2011.
Nike made a $1.9 billion profit and CEO Mark Parker received $35 million. That was 1,034 times the pay of the average Swoosh worker.
As a Twitter follower pointed out to White, Goodell is running a very big, very profitable business.
"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard the players make this league don't ever forget that," White responded.
Lest we forget, White had just signed a $50 million contract extension. What he and other NFL working stiffs apparently don't get is the concept of revenue sharing.
Under the collective bargaining agreement reached last year, players get 47 percent of the money. It's pretty simple. The more the league makes, the more the players make. And thanks in part to that 10-year CBA, the money is only going to get more insane.
The media deals Goodell negotiated kick in next year. Between ESPN, the major TV networks, radio, DirecTV, NFL Network and other broadcast deals, teams split $7 billion a year in media money before they sell their first ticket.
Goodell's goal is $25 billion in revenue by 2025. I'll do the math for Roddy:
That means 1,696 players (barring expansion) would split $11.75 billion a year. That'll buy a lot of Bentleys.
You can argue that any Microeconomics egghead could operate a money machine like the NFL. You could be right, but whoever he or she is would command the same compensation package.
Regardless of what you, me or Sean Payton think, Goodell's bosses obviously don't consider him just another egghead. Say what you will about their football savvy, but NFL owners are some of the world's most accomplished businessmen.
They gladly approved Goodell's $30 million salary, because they know value when they see it.
They see it in Goodell, even if he can't run, tackle or catch.
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